The Slam Book of the Gods
by CityPlum2014
Summary: Zeus decides to start a slam book so that the gods can 'understand' each other better . Here's a little sneak - a - peek of the various entries of the Olympians.
1. Zeus' 'wonderful' idea

It was a normal day at Mount Olympus . Well , at least normal as the Olympians are concerned . Athena and Poseidon were arguing about who's better. Demeter was nagging Hades about cereals and Hades pretended to take no notice. Hera was arguing with Zeus because of the number of times he goes to earth to chase the skirts of mortal women. Artemis was arguing with her twin about who was born first. Hermes was shouting at his cell phone and there was a call every five minutes. Dionysus just couldn't believe his luck as his punishment was lifted . Hephaestus and Ares were arguing over Aphrodite . And the sound level at the throne room was 22,000 Hz . See , pretty normal .

The same thing described above happened in the next day .

And the next day .

And the next

Finally Zeus had enough . He made an announcement that almost made the Olympians have their ears dropped down .

"I think I finally found out why we fight so much with each other" he boomed

Silence

'_Has he ?'_ thought Hermes

"The problem is simple .We don't understand each other . As a matter of fact we never understood each other in the past few millennia . So…"

Everyone held their breath . _Maybe he will give classes about family bonding _thought Athena . _Maybe he'll make me the ruler of Olympus _thought Poseidon . _Maybe he finally understood the importance of cereal . _thought Demeter . _Maybe he'll ban this cereal crazed freak from Olympus and give me her place _

thought Hades ._Maybe he'll become a good husband _thought Hera . _Maybe he'll ask everyone's female demigod children to join the hunt _thought Artemis . _Maybe he'll make me sing my poems twice every week _thought Apollo . _Maybe he'll give me more days off _thought Hermes . _I couldn't care less _thought Dionysus . _Maybe he'll start a war _thought Ares . _Maybe he'll ban Ares from visiting Aphrodite _thought Hephaestus . _Maybe he'll allow me to give a makeover for everyone , squeal ! _thought Aphrodite . **(A/N : Sorry if this part was boring )**

"I've decided to start a slam book" Zeus finally said

This time the Olympians' ears really fell off . Have their father/brother/husband gone crazy?

"Father what are you talking about?" Athena asked . She remembered the time when her father made the decision to bring that no good sea weed's son to become the messenger for Olympus . It was a disaster **( A/N: From my fic Triton's Day at Olympus)**

"What I am saying is that , through this slam book we can understand each other very well"

"Who told you about slam books?" Hermes asked

"Diana"

"Who?" Hera asked angrily

"Er… no one dear "

"WHO'S DIANA!"

"Did I say Diana dear ? No I meant Dionysus . _Dionysus _not Diana"

Dionysus still can't believe that he finally escaped from those brats at the camp . He didn't even look up when his name was mentioned .

Hera looked suspicious but she chose to believe it anyway .

"So all those in favor of this idea?" Zeus asked .

Almost everyone's hand went up ( not Dionysus 'cause he still can't believe – well you know) . This was not because everyone was really waiting for their father/brother/husband to say this with cherries on top . It was because they finally can get a break from the usual squabbling they do at Olympus .

"So tomorrow we'll start the Slam Book of the Gods! Meeting dispersed"

Everyone left . _This is gonna be fun _thought Hermes .


	2. Zeus' Page

**Zeus' Page**

**Disclaimer : **I do not own PJO ( and never will)

* * *

**Name : **Zeus

**Also Known as: **The Lord of the Skies , King of the Gods , Uncle Z ( by my annoying nephews and nieces )

**Gender: **Male

**My Email ID: **zeustheawsome ( ladies copy this down . Don't tell Hera I said that)

**My birthday's on: **Um…er I don't know maybe I'll drop in at Gaea's and ask her . WAIT! I'm not going to Gaea

**I'm crazy about: **Amanda , Stephanie, Georgia and Samantha **(A/N: Look , I'm sorry if any of you reader's names are any of the following . It's purely coincidental) **

**I would like to date: **All of the above and a thousand more .

**The place I like the most : **My room (without Hera in it of course)

**Things about me you never knew: **I'm a gentle , kind and caring father . There was a time when I _used_ to love Hera

**Things about me you **_**think **_**you know (but you're wrong): **I do not have a Barbie doll and kiss it every day . I do not ice skate with a tutu on .And for heaven's sake I . DO . NOT . HAVE . A . CRUSH on Hades, Aphrodite !

**My strengths: **Electrifying people , Making out with mortal ladies

**I cannot live without: **Hera ( don't get the wrong idea ! It's just that , I'm having a hard time making Hephaestus , Ares and Hebe listen to their poor , old daddy sniff ….sniff)

**My favorite color:** Gray , Electric blue

**My likes: **How many times should I tell you , Mortal women , duh oh , and also destruction and thunderstorms MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA !

**My dislikes:** Hera, Perceus Jackson , Poseidon , Hades and pretty much everyone else I have the urge to electrify .

**Few words for whoever is reading this : **Please please please don't tell all the stuff I said about Hera over here to her with cherries on top .

**COMMENTS :**

**Hera : **...

**Hermes: **Get ready for the outburst in three , two , one…

**Hera: **ZEUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS !

**Zeus: **(yelp!)

**Hera: **SO THAT'S WHAT YOUR ELECTRI – FRIED BRAIN THINKS ABOUT ME ALL THE TIME ! THIS IS WHAT I GET FOR BEING LOYAL AND DEDICATED ! ALL THESE MILLENNA AND I NEVER EVER CHEATED ON YOU AND YOU …YOU ARE A

**Hermes : **Flower pot ?

**Hera : **YES ! YOU ARE A FLOWER POT !

**Hephaestus: **Okay Mum , Dad maybe you can stop now …MUM NO ! YOU ARE DESTROYING MY PRECIOUS HANDICRAFTED THRONE !

**Ares : **Nothing like a good fight to watch on a Saturday . GO MUM !

**Athena: **Am I the only sane person over here?

**Poseidon: **First sign you're insane: You question your own sanity .

**Athena: **Do everyone a favor Kelp Head , and shut up .

**Demeter: **What everyone here needs is a good bowl of cereal .

**Hades: **NOOOOOOOOO!

**Hermes: **Alright everyone which is more possible – Dad being kind , helping his kids do their homework , changing their diapers and feeding them _or _Dad actually _loving _Hera .

**Zeus : **I WILL CHANGE NO ONE'S DIAPERS !

**Poseidon : **That's sad brother , because that seems to be the only thing a brain like yours can process .

**Zeus: **(searches for his master bolt but couldn't find it)

**Zeus: **WHERE IS MY BOLT !

**Hades : **( comes with a white American Shepherd in his hands) Here you go brother

**Zeus : **No not the dog ! Curse Disney . I WANT MY MASTER BOLT OR ELSE ….

**Athena : **Or else what?

**Zeus : **Or else ….or else I will start to cry !

_( Everyone gasped … well everyone except Ares who was still crying "GO MUM" . Your teachers told you how various chemicals mix in the rain and cause acid rain ? Don't believe them . Acid rain is caused when Zeus' highly acidic tears mix with rain . So now you can probably guess how many times he had cied over the past few decades .)_

**Hera : **Hmph …. Flower pot …

* * *

**So what do you guys think ? Remember Read , Review , Rejoice .( No scratch that , it souds more like four Rs now … meh ! who cares )**

**Next Chapter : Poseidon **


End file.
